Day 13

A letter to someone who has hurt me recently:

I wouldn't necessarily say this person hurt me but their expectations of me are so high and they see so much greatness in me and don't think that I am operating on my maximum potential that it frustrates him. So, this is my letter to HIM!

Dear You,

I want you to know that before your manifestation into my life, I didn't have an idea of a dream or how I wanted my life to go. I had been told repeatedly that I was doomed for failure and when we met, I was coming into enlightenment. I knew what talents and gifts I had but I didn't know how to bring life to them. Because of you and your ability to see through me and right into that place that holds greatness, what were blank pages now dance with my own words , and my dream of being an author is more than a mere imagination but a near reality. You had what it took to unleash the writer in me. You erased any fear I had and spoke LIFE into my very being and prophecied to me in such a way that provoked me to action. You've seen the very best in me and sometimes when I couldn't see it. I'm there now, I imagine and dream greater and I work towards my goal. You have helped me in more ways than you will realize, and for that I appreciate you always for that.

What I do not appreciate is this timeline you have for me. We are all on different paths traveling at different speeds with different destination times. You can't measure me by your works no more than I can measure you by mine. What you can do is continue doing what you've been doing for me and that is being an encourager, a motivator, and a friend. Don't threaten to walk out of my life... that causes injury. Although we are the same and have an unmatched connection, I am not you and you are not me. I love you and I want to share my successess, hurts, joys, pains, challenges, etc with you, but I need you to be consistent.

Allow me to evolve when I am supposed to evolve and not expose myself prematurely. Don't rush a budding rose!

I love you forever and after.

Day 9

I'm proud of myself for maintaining my sanity in the midst of insanity. That's all I will say on that matter.

Rest in Love Aunt Clara Mae

03/27/1951 - 02/15/2011

Yesterday I held the hand of a woman who took part in rearing me as she made her transition from this life to everlasting life. Although I understand death in that I don't fear it but welcome, it was still hard nonetheless. I had never ever saw this transition before and to hold her hand while her spirit left her body was gut wrenching. To see my very strong masculine cousins breakdown when their mother passed away was a feeling of deep sorrow. To see her daughters not be able to stand at her bedside upset me but later I regretted my choice to do so. She was such a precious being and I will always treasure and love her. I will honor her memory by living a life I know she desired. I will not mourn her death but celebrate her life as it goes on.

I love you Auntie!

Forever and ever after forever :)

Challenge Day 8

My short term goal for this month is to reach 50,000 words in my book!
Why because I owe it to myself to complete my goals.

Day 5

I've seen one of the seven wonders of the world, and it was an exhilerating experience. I was in awe and in great wonder. It is a great sight to behold.

Day 4 **UPDATE***

A habit I wished I didn't have is biting my nails. It's like I will put it in my mind not to and before I know it, I'm nailess.... been doing it since I was a child.


UPDATE:

I am no longer a nail biter! I made the decision to stop biting my nails. Whenever a stressful situation arrives I am cognizant of it, and don't resort to nail biting. I have never had nails before, and now I do and it is a beautiful thing.

Day 3 Challenge

These two are near and dear to me. We don't see each other often nor do we talk often, but when we reconnect it is as if there has been no seperation at all. I love them forever.

Day Two Challenge

What is the meaning behind my blogger name?

Well it is entitled the Gumbo of my life...

When I think of Gumbo, I think of a big bowl of yummy goodness with all kinds of ingredients that make up the whole of the dish. That is exactly how I view my life. There are lots of things have happened in my life, and things that will happen. All of these things are just forming the whole of who I will become. If you leave the okra out of the gumbo it wouldn't be the same. Same with my life, if you took away the hardships I've had to endure, I wouldn't be the strong woman I am today. So this blog is comprised of all the things/ingredients that make me who I am. Lessons, challenges, accomplishments, fears, weaknesses, strengths, ALL of it is my GUMBO.

Day One Challenge

A recent picture of myself:


15 Interesting Facts about myself:

1. My name is really spelled Michele but I spell it Michelle because I never went by Michelle growing up. I went by my nickname Toni. On my birth certificate my name is spelled with one L. I really need to get that fixed before it creates an issue for me on down the line.

2. I used to wet the bed until I was eight years old and suck my thumb until I was in 10th grade.

3. I still bite my fingernails out of habit! Working on changing that.

4. I often have conversations with myself and do not find this strange.

5. The top of my list of most desired things is being in love!

6. I believe that Gods greatest desire is for "HIM" to be realized in every living soul. I don't think that God is a separate entity, but he is ALL and in ALL.

7. I often cry when I think of my level of awareness and what I feel and think about God as opposed to when I was growing up. I feel that my own life would be drastically different if I had thought this way from the beginning of time.

8.I am very sensitive but am mistaken for being mean and this hurts my feelings, but I know the TRUE of who I am.

9. My feelings/emotions are so complex at times I don't even understand them. They are very powerful and sometimes take over me. I have to constantly guard my mind and my thoughts.

10.I do not watch T.V. anymore. I have one t.v. and it is in my closet. I think t.v. takes away from thinking for oneself which is why we are so brainwashed.

11. There are is more to me than meets the eye. I appear to be one way, but just when you think you know all of me, there are other parts waiting to be exposed!!!

12. I am the middle child of five children.

13. I belive in the afterlife, and am not afraid of death.

14. I pray to have visitations from my ancestors and also beckon them to assist me in the earth realm.

15. I'll love forever! No matter what!