Friends.....

I have realized that I can't be friends with everyone; my personality will not allow it.

Change Ahead

I desire for expansion of the mind on many levels, especially spiritually. Not in a religious sense either, but becoming more aware of MYSELF. I understand that my belief level may not be in line with some; however, the spirit, my inner voice, consciousness, never steers me wrong. I know I am aware of who GOD is and because of this, he leads me on different paths to validate my level of thinking otherwise I would think I was crazy. This journey of spiritual awareness is so refreshing to me. It impacts every thought and every feeling that I have. I don't need anyone to chastise me because I do it myself. I totally believe in the law of attraction and what I think, how I feel and what I say will definitely manifest into my reality. I literally TRY to monitor every thought I have and if my thoughts are not consistent with my desires I am able to rechannel them by changing my thoughts almost immediately. Deep breathing generally does the trick, but if that doesn't work I do affirmations, I listen to music that is full of joy or I look at photos of my children. Anything that evokes a good feelings is where I redirect my thoughts. I am so glad that I have control over my own thoughts and that I broke the cycle of feeling and thinking a certain way because it was imparted in me as a child. As life changes, so does certain belief systems and the way things were done. The way religion was taught to me as a child is not how I feel about it as an adult. I evolve daily... I grow daily. I seek to do good daily. I live in the NOW, present moment. If you continue to worry, fear, or stress about what wasn't done yesterday you will miss the opportunity to be present NOW. If you are so consumed with tomorrow you will miss the opportunity to be present NOW. Now is all we have so NOW should be all we focus on. When and if we get to tomorrow it will be NOW. I have a strong desire to be in a place where I am so in tune with spirit.. inner being, that nothing outside of that place _ VORTEX -- a constant whirl of energy, joy, peace, all things that are GOOD... can not be disturbed. I am going on a 30 day challenge to get more clarity mentally, spiritually. I need a BOOST and the only way for ME to do that is to disconnect from any outside distractions and become totally focused on me. I am watching what I consume and am taking in very little processed foods, meats, etc. I will be soaking up all the positivity I can. When I am finished with this I plan to be rejuvenated inside out.

Excerpt

I never dreamed of a wedding when I was a little girl because the example of a marriage placed before me was as raggedy as an old abandoned shack along a countryside road. It was literally in shambles with no sign of a remodel in sight. I don't even think a renovation was possible. I did not spend my days daydreaming of a flowy white dress or a handsome bride to greet me at the alter. Those thoughts never crossed my mind even once. All I ever imagined was peaceful days and restful nights when my parents were not arguing, but the opposite would always manifest.Days would be interrupted with an argument erupting out of nowhere and I would be awokened from a good nights sleep by yelling, the sound of objects being thrown about while I lay lay there wishing for normalcy. I hoped that they would dig deep and find that same love that brought them together so that their anger towards each other would be silenced. I wanted the love to come and silence the sound of hate. There always seemed to be a war going on in my immediate space and in my mind. Silent argumenents between my conscious and subconsious asking questions like, " Why did you have to place me with this family?" I thought God was really punishing me for something I'd done in a previous life unbeknownst to me. I never imagined my life to be anything more than a whirlwind of chaotic mishaps. Nothing good would become of me with this type of example placed before me. How could I be a wife, I could I be a good mother, what could I teach if I wasn't learning? Thinking ahead was a scary thought; I never saw myself as a good child, nor did anyone else or at least it was never told to me. Often I felt displaced as if I was dropped out of the sky and into a mysterious place where I did not belong..... to be continued!

Self Reminder

Reminding myself that when it looks like things are moving backwards, they are actually progressing forward. Every setback is a setup for a comeback. I am conditioning my mind to not look at current reality, but future destiny. I am staying in the right frame of mind as to create a condusive environment for the things I want. Negative thoughts have no place here because so much positive what has been promised. Sometimes I want just crumble but there's too much vested in me to do that. Too many lives depend on me being able to get through life challenges so I can tell my story.

For it all....

Thankful for where I've been.
Thankful for where I am.
Thankful for where I am going.
Just simply thankful for it ALL!

Hookah!

So, the best friend, i.e. ex boyfriend and I went to a local hookah bar & the experience itself was great; however, the ambiance was not. The Iranians were running it and of course, very knowledgeable, but the decor was on a low budget scale? We had the bright idea to just buy our own and that is what we did yesterday. We went into our favorite store, " Romancing the Stone," and we bought the hookah, coal, cleaning supplies, and attachment for $39.95. It was the best investment ever. After cruising downtown, and talking about our dreams, we went back to my place, assembled it (trial and error) and started smoking. The ambiance was nothing short of perfect, the music in the background was relaxing, and we allowed the sounds and savory inhalation of watermelon tobacco to relax us into a deep sleep with neither of us remembering the moment our eyes closed. We woke up and it was morning. Everyone should invest in a hookah.

My New La Casa!!!!!!

Flowing from my heart, thankfulness

As I woke up this morning, tears quickly filled my eyes as I began to feel the blessings of God around me. Even when I don't realize or acknowledge I'm blessed, the blessings are still present in my life. I took a moment to walk around my loft giving thanks to the most high for a second chance, another opportunity to have my own and THIS TIME, be mindful of his blessings. With every person who walks through my door, I want their to be a feeling of great peace, overwhelming love, a sense of calm. I am so thankful that I am in a position to worship and praise in my OWN place. I thank God in advance for all blessings in my life and that I am more of aware of them seen and unseen.