In love with a woman!

I'm in love with a woman. She is everything I've been on a search for. When I found her, she completed that inner part of me that was always searching for that "something" and didn't know it was me I was searching for all along. It's like I'd always known her, but could never make that connection. It was always something missing and it was at arms reach, but there was a mental block keeping me from finding her. Everything about her is familiar to me. There's not a moment when I don't feel comfortable around her. When I look at her, I smile and see the God inside of her. I realize that she's always been there, I just didn't recognize her. Beauty radiates from her, power possesses her, love is natural for her. This girl, is me. Today , when I look in the mirror I see one of God's master pieces... forming me from nothing yet I've become this intricate design of something special and I've recognized my own beauty and worth. My path is unfolding right before me, my past getting further behind me. My future is gazing in front of me. I'm closing in on my destiny. Yes, quite the masterpiece, still discovering what it is to be me. Loving me more each day, this love affair with myself will never go away. I finding more of myself everyday. I've not always felt this way, for years I've hid from myself. Now, I've been exposed to me, and am visible to all who have appreciation and love for the woman that I am. NO more hiding; I'm free to be me. Love found me when I fell in love with me!

Sweet September ;-)

WOW, how time flies when LOVE overtakes, engulfs and casts its spell on you. Although I seem to in the past have been unlucky in love; I never doubted that love existed or wouldn't happen for me. There may have been a brief moment that I may have been anxious for it to arrive; however, those moments were short lived and replaced with affirmations beckoning love to make its way to me. Not just any kind of love, but a love that so closely resembled my ideal of love that I would recognize it with my eyes closed. Someone who would literally love the outter and inner parts of me allowing me to be the me I'd fell in love with. Someone who would accept me flaws and all. Someone who was on a path of finding the same exact kinda love I was longing for. I wrote letters to this man before I knew him. I loved him before our hearts connected. I knew what his love felt like before I experienced it. I craved his embrace not knowing what it felt like. I longed for him not having spent time with him. I just "knew" that my kind of love was out there somewhere and it took me believing this, speaking this and seeing it happen before it actually did. I knew when it come, everything in my entire being would bear witness. It is so overwhelming that God put such a pefect match together. Oh how sweet it is to experience love on this level, in this way, everyday. It is the ultimate love experience and the best ride of my life. To my precious gift, my desire made manifest in the flesh, I love you so much and am anxious for the next level of US together. Truly, it is going to be magical experience of love ascending to the highest level... I shudder to think about it!!!

OLD BLOG

My feelings to have. My feelings to share. My feelings to express, understand if you dare. The world so cold with no one to hold. To keep me safe from danger found all over the place. Love has come but it leaves me alone. It takes hold then breaks free. It sees future, I see now. Reality is in my face and what's to come leaves me numb. Not knowing but having hope takes guts and faith. My faith wavers for anxiousness of what's next. Did my ship sail and leave me shipwrecked? Grab a lifejacket to save myself from misery no matter how happy I seem to be lonliness manages to take hold and leave me almost breathless. Breaking free from its hold proves to be awfully bold. Peace if only I could just release the major part of me. Hold on stay strong your day is coming seems to be echoing beneath the shadows.....

My Same Revisited.....

Gut wrenching, heart dropping, unbearable pain is what is feels like to be seperated from my same.

In my life I want him to remain.

His presence in my life can be taken for granted no more, he is the man I truly adore.

Like petals on a flower and branches to a tree, he was created and divinely purposed for me.

He adds to me in so many ways, God knew I needed him in my life to help me live out my best days.

He is the air I breathe the very essence of the deepest part of me.

Fulfilling me in ways that I thought I was complete, he knows how to bring out the best in me.

When I stopped looking, he walked through the door, I can't ask God for anything more.

He and I together a force so strong, walking into destiny together, we won't go wrong.

From this day forward I will give God praise, he's blessed me with Marcell, my same.

Good Riddance Last Week

Okay, last week was a very trying, revealing and emotionally grueling week for me. Space was asked of me and I granted it. The initial request for space was asked for without very little explanation so of course, this sent my mind spinning like a ferris wheel. I didn't know if this request had anything to do with me or what. Without explanation, my mind went from is this the beginning of a breakup to worry and concern? I was literally overcome with fear of abandonment that I thought I'd overcome from previous childhood issues and past relationship woes. Abandonment slapped me right in the face and I was forced to battle with it all over again. I am now convinced that this man was put in my life to help me to complete my healing. When he told my pastor about me, he was told that I was his assignment. I had no clue what that meant, but I now know. He is forcing me to face any residule issues that may be lingering over from my past and causing me to purge myelf completely so that I can reall be WHOLE! As it turns out, this request for space may have had something to do with me, but mostly was due to a man who is constantly giving of himself and not putting anything back in. I can imagine him feeling suffocated by WORK, KIDS and unfortunately, me. He needed time and space from me and this took nothing from what we have. It just may have enhanced it. A lot of feelings surfaced last week, but I am glad this is a new week and the time and space needed was given. I will see my sweetie today and we will talk.

.....I want to!!!

Things I want to do:

1.) Write a book of my own personal quotations and explanations of them.

2.) Go on a seven day cruise with my favorite guy.

3.) Open up a very cool and trendy & artsy coffee shop which would serve as a place for poets to come and spit their poems, a computer hub and hangout spot.

4.) Become a lover of exercise where I exercise at least five times a day.

5.) Quit my job and become self employed.

6.) Attend a art class to hone my artistic abilities.

7.) Go on a vacation with my sisters and my mom.

8.) Be married to the man of my dreams so we can walk in our dreams together building a great life for our children.

9.) Write a book with my favorite guy about relationships.

10.) Buy my own HOME!