In part one, I gathered the thoughts of both men and women as to whether they thought all men cheated, and while the responses were different, they were similiar in that all men struggle with issues of cheating but not all act out. A lot of them do, and those are the men I wish to talk to find out what drives them to that point, if anything. I know of relationships where men have good women but that urge to cheat clouds their judgement, and they end up risking a good thing by succumbing to a few seconds of pleasure. What disturbs me further is the fact that these men say, " It meant nothing." If it means nothing then why even go there???
This is where I have an issue. If you do something, do it with a purpose and an intent behind it. The act of sex is treated as if it means nothing. It is one of the most spiritual acts between two people that can be performed, and for us to treat it so casually and do it with " NO PURPOSE" shows ignorance. While speaking to someone on this issue, they said that men are able to seperate their emotions, so for a man to engage in a sexual act with a woman with no feelings attached is normal. As for a woman, it is different. We are so emotionally involved in everything we do, it's hard for us to have casual sex with no feelings or emotions. Now that I think about it, what he said makes a lot of sense, but still.....
If you are in a relationship with someone, a committed relationship, I don't feel that having sex outside the confines of that relationship is right. IF you love, cherish, honor and respect this person, you will "think" carefully before you risk losing her, or causing her to hurt in a way that you know she will if she finds out you've cheated. Cheating to me is a symptom of an already present problem be it with the relationship, or the person who is doing the cheating. Men by nature are hunters, but at some point the hunter puts down his gun. You should get tired of the chase and be ready to enjoy what you've caught. Is nothing ever good enough?
Relationships are a challenge, and anyone who enjoys a challenge like myself should strive to do what they can to make sure that relationship is gratifying in EVERYWAY. I think couples become complacent and don't strive to make it work. We get caught up in the daily grind of life, and our relationships suffer. Instead of coming together, we grow further and further apart thus leading us to seek outside fulfillment. If we put our relationships at the forefront and give as much energy and attention to it, then I believe some of this infidelity can be avoided. Now this isn't for those people who are going to cheat happy or not. These are for those who fall prey to cheating due to not being fulfilled or not happy within the confines of their relationship due to not giving it the adequate attention and time.
Anything you have to give time and energy to should be considered an investment. An investment: a devoting, using, or giving of time, talent, emotional energy, etc., as for a purpose or to achieve something: His investment in the project included more time than he cared to remember.
I personally am in love with a man that I prayed for, and that God graciously blessed me. God invested that man to me so I have to put in the time & emotional energy to achieve greatness in area of this relationship . This means I have to be attentive to his needs, wants and desires. I have to be there for him to talk to. I have to be there physically so that we can connect on a spiritual level for the purpose of becoming closer. It's more than us providing each other with the physical element. This relationship will be a blessing to the kingdom. I take my relationship seriously. So I will do what it takes to ensure it's longevity and success.
This is where I have an issue. If you do something, do it with a purpose and an intent behind it. The act of sex is treated as if it means nothing. It is one of the most spiritual acts between two people that can be performed, and for us to treat it so casually and do it with " NO PURPOSE" shows ignorance. While speaking to someone on this issue, they said that men are able to seperate their emotions, so for a man to engage in a sexual act with a woman with no feelings attached is normal. As for a woman, it is different. We are so emotionally involved in everything we do, it's hard for us to have casual sex with no feelings or emotions. Now that I think about it, what he said makes a lot of sense, but still.....
If you are in a relationship with someone, a committed relationship, I don't feel that having sex outside the confines of that relationship is right. IF you love, cherish, honor and respect this person, you will "think" carefully before you risk losing her, or causing her to hurt in a way that you know she will if she finds out you've cheated. Cheating to me is a symptom of an already present problem be it with the relationship, or the person who is doing the cheating. Men by nature are hunters, but at some point the hunter puts down his gun. You should get tired of the chase and be ready to enjoy what you've caught. Is nothing ever good enough?
Relationships are a challenge, and anyone who enjoys a challenge like myself should strive to do what they can to make sure that relationship is gratifying in EVERYWAY. I think couples become complacent and don't strive to make it work. We get caught up in the daily grind of life, and our relationships suffer. Instead of coming together, we grow further and further apart thus leading us to seek outside fulfillment. If we put our relationships at the forefront and give as much energy and attention to it, then I believe some of this infidelity can be avoided. Now this isn't for those people who are going to cheat happy or not. These are for those who fall prey to cheating due to not being fulfilled or not happy within the confines of their relationship due to not giving it the adequate attention and time.
Anything you have to give time and energy to should be considered an investment. An investment: a devoting, using, or giving of time, talent, emotional energy, etc., as for a purpose or to achieve something: His investment in the project included more time than he cared to remember.
I personally am in love with a man that I prayed for, and that God graciously blessed me. God invested that man to me so I have to put in the time & emotional energy to achieve greatness in area of this relationship . This means I have to be attentive to his needs, wants and desires. I have to be there for him to talk to. I have to be there physically so that we can connect on a spiritual level for the purpose of becoming closer. It's more than us providing each other with the physical element. This relationship will be a blessing to the kingdom. I take my relationship seriously. So I will do what it takes to ensure it's longevity and success.
Things to do to ensure success and longevity:
1.) Whatever activities you spent together doing when you were dating, you should still make time for. If you went out to parks, lunch dates, clubs or dinner, you still should do that.
2.) Take random trips. These don't have to be luxurious trips that will break the bank. A one day getaway to the closest state will do the trick. Sometimes getting away from your normal surroundings does a whole lot.
3.) Spend time talking and reconnecting. Communication is so very important in a relationship. It gives you the opportunity to express your inner most thoughts and feelings.
4.) LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH ------- I am so lucky to be with a man who makes me laugh. We spend a great deal of our time together joking around and laughing. Rarely do you see us and we are grinning about jokes shared between the two us or something out of the blue he's done to make me smile. I don't care where we are, we are able to enjoy each others company. The company of others is OKAY, but we truly enjoy each other.
5.) Take yourself out of the equation and think about the other party. Sometimes we can become so narcissistic that we forget about others. When you are in a relationship, you have to become selfless. I look at it this way, if you give of yourself, you will get in return.
6.) Be spontaneous and spur of the moment. Not everything has to be planned. That takes the joy out of it. Every now and again, surprise your boo with something special.
7.) Don't like to get into others bedrooms, but I will say this..............be willing to explore and go beyond missionary. There is no bounds between you are your mate. Be open minded.... :)
8.) Being spiritually connected is vital. I don't care what your religious background is, you both should be able to thank God and continue to ask him to bless your union.
More coming soon.........
No comments:
Post a Comment