Dear Mom & Dad,

I would like to say I love you both with everything that is within me & as much as I know how. You may not have been the best parents or been there for me as a child like I wanted you to, but as I've grown and matured, I've learned a valuable lesson and that is, "People love on the level that they know how." It may not be to my liking or to my understanding, but it's the best they KNOW how to do in that moment. God assigned you guys to me for a reason! It was not for me to choose my parent, and I can't go back and rewrite history nor do I think I want to because everything about me would change, and I love who I am and don't think I would change to past to create a different future. Growing up, you guys created a very dysfunctional space for me to live in. I had to endure countless nights of hearing you argue, fuss and fight physically. I was frightended and didn't quite understand it all. I understood the definition of peace by hearing it in church. I knew I was not experiencing it but had to sense enough to pray and ask God for it. It came but not when or how I wanted it to.

It was PEACE though, and I've grown to become great friends of it. Because I know what peace is, I now know why you left mom. I know you left to maintain your sanity because dad did everything in his power to make sure you had none. The fights grew brutal and mom you were put at deaths door because of these beatings. Dad, you did everything in your power to make sure we had no peace. Everything ended in a fight. You and mom fought about everything. I am old enough to remember you trying to drive away from it all and mom coming after you to put fire on a already blazing flame. Most kids want their parents to stay together, but I knew you guys weren't good for each other, and somebody would have to leave. I was okay with that. I wouldn't have wanted you guys to stay together JUST so I could be happy. I was happy to not have to hear the fighting, arguing, cursing, and name calling. I was happy to see you guys happy even if that meant you being seperated and divorced.

Because of you and mom, I learned as an adult facing a divorce not to stay because of my kids! You want to create wholeness for your kids, and wholeness sometimes means leaving. I know kids will heal because mine did. I am happy to say that I learned from from dysfunction that:Scars will be left, but healing will and can take place. I have learned to forgive all the empty promises made by both of you to me. I've forgiven the bad childhood that I had to endure because of you two. I have forgiven you BOTH! Both of you had a part to play and I can't blame just one person. I don't know what all went on behind closed doors, I just know both of you were to blame. I love you both still and in spite of. I will not hold on to the past but will let go freeing myself, and freeing you. MOM you had issues and DAD you had issues and it wasn't until you completely seperated that your issues were resolved. Children look to their parents as their everything and in doing that we are let down because as much as I wanted to believe you guys were super heroes, I had to learn that you are but mere mortals just like me who makes mistakes, tell lies, break promises, because I too have done it. Not on purpose or to bring hurt or harm, but because we are all human. I'm learning as I go while forgiving and letting go. Hurt people hurt people and I don't want to hurt anyone. Karma is a mug.