Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Rebirth Through Disconnection

Two years ago I cried over a man who dogged me out, made me question my sanity and nearly stripped me of my self- esteem. I spent nights crying out to God to save and restore my marriage. I walked around shamed-faced thinking that I had failed at keeping my family together. I blamed myself.

God used that divorce to break me down only to build me back up and prepare me to be fit for a king. My self esteem is no longer in question. I love myself today more than I ever have in my thirty four years.

I have been reborn and am now experiencing the true meaning of “LOVE”.

True love can only be experienced in its fullness by those who love themselves. I loved myself enough to know that God would give me the desires of my heart.

I experienced hardships while dating but when I made up mind that settling was no longer an option; I began to gravitate towards men who favored me. I still had some men who weren’t meeting my standards. Yes, I actually had a list. But I knew I couldn’t falter.

I am not in the fixing up business. I didn’t expect perfection, but I did expect my thoughts and desires to manifest just as I’d prayed.

I began to write a letter to my “Man to be.” I didn’t have an image of this man; I just knew he would be coming because my thoughts were in line for him to come into my life.

Well ladies, he arrived September 27th, 2008 and we haven’t skipped a beat since. I’m particularly flooded with emotion because my manifestation is before me, the best relationship of my life.

When I cry at night now, it is because I am thankful to Him for what is right before me and what I see out in the distance. I praise God now for a divorce that I once cried out for him to save. I had to go through that to save myself and be free to receive what He had in store for me.

I must say that I am beyond love and a new word needs to be implemented to describe what we have. This relationship has been one that I’ve embraced; I’ve let engulf me and allow myself to be suffocated in. The emotions and feelings between us are so potent, we’re left speechless… leaving us, almost in a dream-like state.

Everything that I thought I wanted, needed and desired in a man has manifested before my eyes. He is so good to me! Everywhere we go people take notice, make compliments, and admire what we have. It is such a flow, and wow…. TEARS! He is my soul twin.

Where I end, he begins. True happiness. Destiny- fulfilled.

I promise there is that “ONE” who will arrive in your life that will you leave you breathless and makes you feel like you are the baddest thang walking this earth even if you feel you aren’t. Doesn’t mind professing and letting the world know that you are his girl and then truly make you feel like the Queen you are.

I am happy sister who wants happiness for others. Pass it on.

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I am crystal clear, unselfish, devoted, demanding little, always sacrificing myself for others but learning to put myself first!I seek salvation within myself, I always strive for total self - sufficiency and self - reliance.